Stuck on You, 17: Relieving the past.
“What? I don’t believe you.”
It was already afternoon and Andrew was kind and sweet enough to not kidnap me and hold me hostage, but instead, he drove me— well us, really, to BPS.
The kids were playing outside, as always, and while waiting, Andrew and I decided to play a game of Truth and Not Dare.
Andrew shrugged, “I’m not joking. Serious. Scout’s honor.”
“Oh come on, I mean, you?”
Andrew tried to hide a smile, “Why is it so hard to believe?”
I tried to put on a straight face, but I know my face itself failed me, “Because. I mean, you, of all people. I thought you had that… yknow… thing…”
“What?”
“That, I’m-so-good-looking-I’ve-read-Wuthering-Heights-and-I-listen-to-the-Beatles-and-I’m-so-good-at-Math-and-not-to-mention-I’m-British-and-I-never-fail-to-impress-the-ladies thing going on.”
“By ‘ladies’, do you mean, you or… in general?” He smirked.
I rolled my eyes, trying to keep a straight face on, “I mean, your childhood crush actually blew you off for some random guy with cookies?”
“It wasn’t fair, okay!” Andrew cried, “That random guy wasn’t just some random guy. He was, apparently, my next door neighbor who, coincidentally fell for the same girl I did. It took me 3 fugging years to finally man up and take my arse down to her door. And again, coincidentally, Jack was there. With a box full of fugging cookies.”
“Jack.” I repeated, “So, that’s his name?”
Andrew nodded. “I swear, it’s like he’s psychic or something.”
“Well…” I tried to hide a laugh, “Ooookay, then, lover boy.”
“That was 10 years ago, woman! God, why did I have to agree on playing this game with you. Why.”
I shrugged, “You agreed. I just suggested. You should have thought about the consequences.”
“Okay okay, fine.” He turned to look at me in the eyes. I held my breath, “My turn.”
Exhale. “Okay, shoot.”
“Promise me you won’t get mad when I ask you this.”
I raised an eyebrow, “Okay, then.”
“How come you and your Dad seem so… distant?”
I should have expected this question from someone. From someone other than Alexa, of course. From someone like Andrew.
I looked up at Andrew to see him waiting, his face concerned.
I sighed, giving up. “Okay, I’ll tell you.”
Andrew nodded slowly, leaning closely and put his head down, looking at both his hands that are clamped together, listening.
“Just a little precaution, I might yknow, tear up.” Andrew started to say something, but I cut him off by shaking my head.
I bit my lip, “My Mom died when I was 5 years old.” Andrew looked up and looked my in the eyes as I added, “She shot herself in through the head. With a gun.”
And then flashbacks of what happened 10 years ago flooded through my head.
Dad. Mom. The fight. Mom screaming and shouting, saying she gave up. Dad begging and apologizing. The gun. The blood.
Blood.
Andrew remained silent, a sign for me to just carry on.
“My Dad was an alcoholic. Like, a major alcoholic. Spends his day at work, but relieves everything by going to a club with his friends every night. Messing around with women, although I know it wasn’t his intention, I mean, he loves my mom. I know that. So I guess it was just the alcohol.
“Then one day, my Mom had enough of it. We lived in this pretty cool house not far from here, and well, Dad hasn’t been paying the electricity bills, the water bills and such. And Mom was fed up because every time they talk about his drinking problem, he’d promise to stop. Always tells my mom that, but…
“Then, yeah. One night I was in bed, I woke up when I heard my Mom screaming and I went downstairs. I witnessed everything. Mom asking Dad for a divorce, can’t stand living under the same roof with him. And again, he said he’d stop, I know he meant it that time, but Mom was just too fed up and so… she snapped.”
Time passed. Seconds to minutes. Then finally Andrew said, “I’m sorry.”
I managed a small smile, feeling a tear run down my cheek. I was used to hearing this from people, but I could tell Andrew was sincere. “Thanks.”
“And your Dad? What happened…?”
I sniffed. “Well, after Mom shot herself, everything was pretty much a blur. Dad cried. The police came, I cried, too. Couldn’t stop for a year. Though, I still get nightmares about what happened that night. I’d wake up and cry for an hour after. Sometimes, well, not sometimes but, every time that happens, I blamed myself for my Mom’s death.”
“Jen, it wasn’t your fault.” Andrew said quietly.
I shook my head and said, “It is. I could’ve stopped her, yknow. I could have just told her to put the gun down and tell her everything will be okay. But I didn’t.”
“Jen—” I cut him off by shaking my head and said, “Do you wanna listen to the rest of the story or what?”
Andrew just nodded slowly, “Okay. Go on.”
I managed a small smile and said, “Well, then we moved. I mean, the house seemed pretty huge with only just the two of us, so Dad sold it, used the money to rent a place at the apartment, and that’s that. End of story.”
“Clearly,” Andrew smiled, “That isn’t the end of the story.”
I smiled back, trying to hold in the tears which I could tell was forming in my eyes. “Well, Dad hasn’t been himself ever since. He stopped drinking, though. Which is a good thing. But, I’d wake up on most nights, to see him sitting at the living room, looking through the album family, crying. He’d work and work and work all day, sometimes till midnight.
“He says it’s for supporting me. Yknow, paying the rents and all that. School, the groceries,” Andrew nodded, “But I think that’s just a part of why he’s always working. I guess he just wants to get occupied with his work so he won’t be able to think about Mom.”
“I see.”
“So, yeah.” I sniffed again, feeling more tears running down my cheeks. “That’s the end of the story.”
Andrew leaned in closely, put both his thumbs on my face, “wiping” my tears away, and gave me a small smile. “It’s not your fault that your Mom died, Jen.”
I just managed a nod, letting his words sunk within me, but it couldn’t.
Suddenly, the classroom’s door bursted open, the kids running in the classroom, still looking hyper and energetic. I quickly wiped my tears and put on a “happy” face.
“Hi, Miss Jenny!” A girl named Alice said.
I gave her a smile, “Hi there.” She smiled and then headed towards her seat.
“Sorry that I asked.” Andrew said.
I looked out to face him, his brown eyes warm, boring into mines. “It’s okay, I mean, I’m glad I told you. I thought I might go insane not being able to let it all out to someone.” I paused, “Except for Alexa. She pretty much knows everything.” I laughed lightly.
He smiled, “You know, you don’t have to do this today. I can manage the kids alone.”
I scoffed, “Please, you so can’t manage to handle these little sneaks under your nose.”
Andrew clucked his tongue out and said, “Fine. But, are you sure?”
I nodded, though I wasn’t sure if I was, but I managed to say, “Yep.”
“Okay, let’s get down to business.”
“Whatever, General Shang.” I winked and faced the classroom, the kids were still talking, all hyped up. “Okay, class. Here’s what we’re gonna do today…”
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HI GUYS! sorry for the late update, I was (still am, actually) busy. Test season is on. But, well, here you go, an update! Sorry if it sucks, though I hope you enjoyed reading it :)
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